Yeah, all these reactions feel totally appropriate for where you were at. And I think it's interesting to look at how/when/why we censor ourselves around men. Lots to unpack there (for me, anyway!) Keep going, love hearing about your journey.
Thank you so much Bonnie 🥰. Friend, I am in it today. Halloween was one of Steven's favorite holidays and I just thought I would handle it better by now. I cannot believe this is the 4th one without him. It's not even something I was consciously thinking about. It just snuck up on me. Editing the 2nd draft is slow and painful and sometimes I wonder if I am up to the task. Sorry to spiral down on you. I'll be okay, just having a moment, or ten. XO ❤️
Ahhh I wish could cheer you up with my Dominatrix Tooth Fairy costume! I bet holidays are especially hard. Sending love from Nevada City. Traveling back to reality tomorrow. Let's Zoom again soon! ❤️
Amy, this is a beautifully written snapshot of a date you had. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to go on a date after a spouse dies. I totally understand your reaction.
I get it. I was the same way, risk averse to a repeat of a cancer or cardiac disaster and the heartbreak of another loss. In the larger picture, and in the meantime, I’ve learned that any of us could be gone at any time, cancer or no cancer, and that some of the most attractive and healthiest men can turn out to be the worst people in the world. Dating, like the rest of life, is full of risks but also, occasionally, pleasant surprises.
Thank you Carole! It's so true, we really have so little control in life except how we choose to respond with our thoughts, feelings and actions. This story took place three years ago, which was only four months after my husband died. I still find my self risk averse to new relationships, but like the lottery, you gotta be in it to win it. I really appreciate your perspective.
What heavy talk for a first date, yet it sounds like the one that needed to happen. I marvel at your courage to date after Steven’s death and am rooting for former you to get to the fun part of your dating & can’t wait to read more. I enjoy your attention to behind the scene details, like finances and your clothing decisions. And love the snark in your thought bubbles.
I hired a developmental editor a couple of months ago and we met last night to go over all my first draft edits. I've got a lot of work to do, but she really loved my book! I've set an aggressive schedule for myself to have my second draft back to her by the beginning of December with an eye to self-publish in February 2025. I am excited and nauseous but I'm going to do it.
I hope you know how much your support has meant to me. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd be able to pull this all together and put it out into the world with the encouragement of women who are also doing hard things. I really appreciate you! ❤️❤️❤️
Enjoyed this Amy. I liked the little details about your goose puffer, how you would've been drinking by yourself, and your decision to not see him again. It was so good I wanted it to be longer but I understand these are snippets.
Thank you so much Istiaq! I'm so glad you liked this chapter and I am sorry it's not longer. I'm going to try and have 2nd draft finished by the end of the year, and hopefully out into the world in February 2025.
Thank you. I felt a little callous writing about that experience now that it's 3 years later, but I just had a visceral reaction to someone mentioning they had cancer so soon after my husband died. I'm glad I have more empathy now.
Yeah, all these reactions feel totally appropriate for where you were at. And I think it's interesting to look at how/when/why we censor ourselves around men. Lots to unpack there (for me, anyway!) Keep going, love hearing about your journey.
Thank you so much Bonnie 🥰. Friend, I am in it today. Halloween was one of Steven's favorite holidays and I just thought I would handle it better by now. I cannot believe this is the 4th one without him. It's not even something I was consciously thinking about. It just snuck up on me. Editing the 2nd draft is slow and painful and sometimes I wonder if I am up to the task. Sorry to spiral down on you. I'll be okay, just having a moment, or ten. XO ❤️
Ahhh I wish could cheer you up with my Dominatrix Tooth Fairy costume! I bet holidays are especially hard. Sending love from Nevada City. Traveling back to reality tomorrow. Let's Zoom again soon! ❤️
Amy, this is a beautifully written snapshot of a date you had. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to go on a date after a spouse dies. I totally understand your reaction.
A totally understandable reaction, Amy.💕
Thank you Sheila 🙏❤️
I get it. I was the same way, risk averse to a repeat of a cancer or cardiac disaster and the heartbreak of another loss. In the larger picture, and in the meantime, I’ve learned that any of us could be gone at any time, cancer or no cancer, and that some of the most attractive and healthiest men can turn out to be the worst people in the world. Dating, like the rest of life, is full of risks but also, occasionally, pleasant surprises.
Thank you Carole! It's so true, we really have so little control in life except how we choose to respond with our thoughts, feelings and actions. This story took place three years ago, which was only four months after my husband died. I still find my self risk averse to new relationships, but like the lottery, you gotta be in it to win it. I really appreciate your perspective.
What heavy talk for a first date, yet it sounds like the one that needed to happen. I marvel at your courage to date after Steven’s death and am rooting for former you to get to the fun part of your dating & can’t wait to read more. I enjoy your attention to behind the scene details, like finances and your clothing decisions. And love the snark in your thought bubbles.
Thank you so much Rosemary!
I hired a developmental editor a couple of months ago and we met last night to go over all my first draft edits. I've got a lot of work to do, but she really loved my book! I've set an aggressive schedule for myself to have my second draft back to her by the beginning of December with an eye to self-publish in February 2025. I am excited and nauseous but I'm going to do it.
I hope you know how much your support has meant to me. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd be able to pull this all together and put it out into the world with the encouragement of women who are also doing hard things. I really appreciate you! ❤️❤️❤️
“Excited and nauseous”
I love this so much because it speaks to your grit and determination: the philosophy of do it afraid and do it anyway.
So brave, friend.
We can do hard things: together.
We must each do it alone, yet we need each other. 💪🏻❤️
Enjoyed this Amy. I liked the little details about your goose puffer, how you would've been drinking by yourself, and your decision to not see him again. It was so good I wanted it to be longer but I understand these are snippets.
Thank you so much Istiaq! I'm so glad you liked this chapter and I am sorry it's not longer. I'm going to try and have 2nd draft finished by the end of the year, and hopefully out into the world in February 2025.
Not a difficult choice, Amy. You made the right choice.
Yeah, it just wasn't going to work. Nice guy though, and a talented educator.
Thank you. I felt a little callous writing about that experience now that it's 3 years later, but I just had a visceral reaction to someone mentioning they had cancer so soon after my husband died. I'm glad I have more empathy now.