Editor’s Note: The following reflects the author’s personal opinions and analysis based on publicly available information. Nothing herein should be construed as a statement of fact about any individual’s private circumstances. Where allegations or speculation are discussed, they are presented as such.
In case you missed it, Melania Trump gave an unexpected statement to the press last Thursday reiterating her claim that she barely knew Jeffrey Epstein and he certainly did not introduce her to her husband.
Given that DJT’s war with Iran had successfully shifted attention away from the DOJ’s most recent file dump, why would she draw attention back in that direction?
Pundits and influencers immediately took to social media with theories about an alternate FLOTUS–POTUS origin story. According to emails found in the files, not only did Melania have a close relationship with the disgraced financier (jk, convicted pedophile), but that Epstein was the one who introduced her to Donald Trump. Speculation was that corroborating evidence (in the form of taped interviews between Epstein and reporter Michael Wolff, two lying manipulators) was about to be made public.
Was this an attempt to get in front of it?
That question, in and of itself, is benign, but the media’s tone was accusatory. The consensus was that if Melania knew Epstein first, meant she was working for him and thus no different from Ghislaine Maxwell. As I watched the FiveStack Live, a personal favorite with Dean Blundell and Zev Shalev, I felt an unfamiliar sense of dread. Okay, it was rage, but I’ve had time to reflect since yesterday and now I’m calm(er).
Together with guests Scott MacFarlane and Lev Parnas these four white dudes were almost giddy over Trump’s alleged response after allegedly fucking Melania for the first time on Epstein’s plane, allegedly exclaiming, “What a hot piece of ass!” (To be fair they did use the more demure “sleeping with” rather than my garish slang).
I know it seems like I’m giving them a hard time, but that’s because (as of this writing, fresh off the breaking Eric Swalwell story) these are “the good guys.” These are men who believe survivors, and I hoped they wouldn’t reduce Melania, or any other woman, to a one dimensional femme fatale, ( THE LEFT HOOK with Wajahat Ali, another favorite Substack, Substacker and all around good man, is partial to the term “honeypot” which I find equally offensive).
I swear, I call-out because I love!
My intent is not to shame these men (okay, maybe just a smidge, I’m not too proud to admit my flaws!). My greater purpose is to bring awareness to the internalized misogyny inherent in both men and women. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, but when I suggested in the FiveStack chat that Melania may have been trafficked under the guise of a modeling contract, (not farfetched given Epstein’s history), one woman wrote, “She should have known better.”
This is where a lot of otherwise liberal people lose the plot as sex work (the preferred term) is so often conflated with sex trafficking–the sticking point always being around the definition of the word consent.
Puritanical attitudes about sex coupled with poor to nonexistent sex education have created the illusion of a blurred line between the two, when in reality, there is none.
Most can agree that children cannot consent to sex, but there isn’t a consensus as to what age adulthood begins. Laws vary from state to state, but there is also a willful ignorance when it comes to teenagers, especially girls–if they look like adults and act like adults, then it shouldn’t be a crime to fuc…sleep with them.
There is no better illustration of this lapse in critical thinking than in the Epstein files themselves, where Florida state and local law enforcement refer to abuse victims during the early aughts as “child prostitutes.” For the record, sex work involves adults engaging in consensual sex (all parties must be conscious), while anything involving children and non-consenting adults is sexual assault and/or sex trafficking.
Actually, it really isn’t that complicated.
I am not a Melania fan, but I don’t see her as a villain either. Throughout most of history, the only currency available to women was their sexuality. As women gained more rights and access to alternate means of financial freedom, the backlash gained momentum.
Today, a growing number of states have enacted truly draconian anti-abortion legislation, resulting in criminal prosecution for miscarriages. Additionally, pregnant women have died because access to basic medical care has been criminalized. Evangelical Christians have gone mainstream, openly calling to end women’s right to vote.
In light of the rollback in women’s autonomy, I ask:
In what reality does Melania Trump have any power or agency?
Donald Trump has been accused of sexually assaulting children, he’s a thirty-four count felon and an adjudicated rapist who was recorded on a hot mic saying he likes to ‘grab ‘em [meaning women] by the pussy.’ Does this sound like a man who thinks of women as human beings? Does this sound like a husband who thinks of his wife as an equal partner?
Melania has lived in the United States for over thirty years, but that doesn’t mean she has any freedom. Her path to citizenship (along with her parents) through “genius” visas is openly mocked as if she had any say in the matter. Do we think Trump acted out of the goodness of his heart, or were there strings attached? That’s a rhetorical question.
This might be a good time to become familiar with life in the Eastern Bloc before the fall of communism in 1989. I think it provides context to The Great Disillusionment felt by two generations living behind the Iron Curtain post-World War II.
Back at the podium, in my opinion, it’s unlikely that Melania crafted her own statement about Epstein, let alone had the authority to speak publicly without permission. Her thick Slovenian accent and broken English (for which she is ridiculed–not by me) speaks to isolation and control. Why does the First Lady of the United States, with access to the best voice and language coaches, speak like she just arrived in the country?
I am surprised that other women, whether victims of domestic abuse or not, have never voiced the opinion that perhaps her struggle to communicate in English is deliberate, weaponized to repeatedly humiliate her in public. The argument that her English is anything less than fluent because she speaks several languages, is ridiculous.
Fluency does not mean devoid of accent, although that’s sometimes a byproduct of socializing in-person with native speakers for decades.
Additional revelations in the Epstein files, if viewed through the lens of abuse, could paint Melania as a victim/survivor. The scout who reportedly “discovered” her, who she claims introduced her to Trump, is, according to public reporting, linked to an international network of modeling agencies whose real business was sex trafficking.
This man, whose name can be easily Googled by the curious, reportedly currently holds a senior position in the White House, and was recently accused of allegedly settling a custody battle by having ICE deport the mother of his child. Which begs the question:
Has Melania ever imagined what the President of the United States, a man with a history of retaliation and (alleged) violence, might do to someone acting against his wishes?
I know I thought about it when I hit publish.
As a feminist dedicated to dismantling our culture’s (most culture’s) demonization and criminalization of women’s bodies and sexuality, I know awareness must come first. Women are painted as Madonnas or whores, virgins or sluts, when in reality, we are all a little bit of both.
I know those words are charged, and many people reading them will feel angry and offended. Before you dismiss me entirely, I’m asking you to pause and sit with those uncomfortable feelings. Where are they coming from? Often, I’d argue, from the same place the problem does: a deep, largely unexamined indoctrination that separates men from their feelings and women from their bodies.
I have reclaimed those words for myself, just as I have reclaimed my own sexuality and humanity from a world that treats women and children as pawns–objects to be used and abused as a means to an end, the ultimate prize being money and the power it buys.
I’ve done that work on myself, and I’m inviting you to do it too.
The narrative of a beautiful woman being the cause of men’s bad behavior is so pervasive that it’s not even questioned by those who “should know better.” That is the story being told about Melania Trump right now. And it is worth asking whether we are telling it because the evidence demands it, or because it’s simply the story we already know how to tell.
At a time when humans are bombarded with a dizzying amount of information, it’s crucial that we ask questions, examine evidence, and employ critical thinking skills. We must become fluent in nuance and see beyond patriarchal conditioning which paints women as either saints or sinners.
Empathy, the ability to feel compassion for others by imagining ourselves in their position, is a superpower well worth cultivating.
