Yass, Jane! You are such a hottie, mind, body and spirit! It actually makes me so sad to think of you writing yourself off. Still, I think it's healthy to take some time, mourn the part of our life that has ended, but then get excited about what lies ahead. Unfortunately, some women can't get out of the mourning stage because they are bombarded with so much negative messaging. I know you have health issues, (so do I) which can also make us feel depressed. I wonder what our later years would be like if we knew it was normal and acceptable that we would look and feel different than when we were 25, 35, even 45? I'm glad you're here and showing off your mad yoga skills. The world needs us and our wise magic. XO 🥰❤️
Thanks so much @Amy Gabrielle you made my day. It’s so easy to mourn that part of ourselves, but there’s so much ahead. Today was a blah day for me and those encouraging words helped :)
Brava on reclaiming your sexuality in a way that YOU wanted to, Amy! I did a photoshoot of black and white "bodyscape" nudes many years ago, and it transformed the way I saw myself. I can't imagine how life-altering losing your husband would have been.
Thank you so much Sheila. I love hearing about other women finding a new connection with their bodies through the arts, especially photography. I find it very meaningful to take my own photos because it's a true representation of how I see myself. I did a professional boudoir photoshoot a couple of years ago and while the results were truly amazing, I liked my own photos better. I am not a professional anything: model, location scout, makeup artist or photographer. I don't have professional equipment either, but I would like women to know they don't need all that stuff to feel beautiful. The simple act of self care in preparation for a shoot was enough for me to start appreciating my body in a new way. XO 🥰❤️
I won my photoshoot at a silent auction many years ago - it terrified me...so I knew I should do it. It's been 25 years, and I still look at my photos (they are framed and up on the wall - enjoy, random person) and am so proud of myself. I see the beauty now that I could not see at the time.
I’ve read this and re read this, this! Wow, like you’re describing emerging from the chrysalis of grief to find yourself a butterfly. So intimate, so life affirming.
I wish I could see beautiful Amy, but that seems prurient and juvenile. I’m a man would such viewings turn art to pornography. Ruin, for you, your choice to go public with your thoughts? Remember I am a man, and I love your work. Forgive me this one transgression.
The line between Art and voyeurism is wafer thin.
I shall see you in my minds eye, beautiful, powerful, destined, warrior queen, mama bear, creator of life, survivor, heroine, mother, wife, widow.
Thank you for all you do, keep on keeping on, you own this.
I appreciate your honesty Colin. I believe that art is supposed to make the viewer feel something. When the average time a person spends standing in front of a painting, a sculpture or a photograph in a museum is 3 seconds I am grateful when people linger over mine, regardless of their motivation.
I love how free and open you are about your body and sexuality! Not naughty by any means…self discover, self assurance so dearly needed in those early months and years. Reading you has totally helped my accept what I did… sans any photo sharing! I needed it but always guilt, wanted closeness but not commitment. You’ve become a stronger, better person…a voice for women like me who felt it wrong. Thank you as always for saying truths so loud and clear! 🤗🥰 can’t wait to read the final memoir! 🎉🙌
I adore you Joan, I really do 🥰❤️. You've helped me accept who I am, and the things that I did in early grief. Your comments and reflections have given me strength in my purpose to tell the truth, slay shame, and create a platform where other women feel seen and accepted for who they are too. Life is unpredictable, but we draw wisdom from one another. I am truly grateful for your friendship and unwavering support. XO 🥹😍
Honest, brave, resilient. If I was free to give you an Idaho compliment, which I am not free to do, I would say you are tougher than a two dollar steak, which is high praise, but I shouldn’t write that, so I won’t. 🫢
Okay, let’s just agree then that I did give you that compliment, a coveted and valuable one, cooked medium rare, and served with a fine baked Idaho russet potato. And I thank you for your willingness to understand the soul of a strange and distant culture without judgment.
Not flan. I learned long ago, there is no difference between a good flan and a poor flan.
But in keeping with the Idahoesque theme, probably a freshly baked apple pie, Cosmic Crisps are preferred apples these days, hand cranked real vanilla ice cream, with ala mode if it’s in season, and coffee brewed in a #10 tin can over a fire, while keeping in mind that good coffee doesn’t require much water.
Love reading about the beginning of your journey into sensual photos of yourself (smart & resourceful ideas!)and the intersection of your grief and re-emerging sexuality.
Thank you Rosemary! The second edit of my manuscript has be diving deeper into my feelings from start to finish. I feel a little like I have emotional whiplash, but I'm happy to find a deeper meaning about everything I went through after Steven died. I'm so glad you are here for the journey! XO 🥰❤️🥰❤️
This is wonderful, Amy. I love how you’ve integrated the experience of recent widowhood with the urge to make sense of your new life by making choices that were honest and meaningful for you, that served your growth as a person. That’s what we do. I’m so grateful for you. Hugs. 🙏🫶🥰💕❤️
Mary! I cannot fully express how much your comments mean to me. This one is especially appreciated as began to doubt I was successful in getting my meaning across. You always understand what I'm trying to express, even when I may not be straightforward about it. I love you, and I am grateful for you too! XO 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️
At my all women's college, we joked that one simply must take an art history class - otherwise, how would one know which painting to select to hang above the couch?? LOL. Who knew there was more to learn??
Thank you so much Bonnie. This post didn't get a lot of love, which made me think I wasn't expressing myself clearly. Your comments always mean so much to me. XO 🥰❤️
When I went through menopause. I thought it was over for me. I gained 20lbs in a year and was ready to resign myself to be an old lady
One day I woke up. I relized I was not dead. The world could write me off because I was over 50. That didn't mean I had to
I reconnected with that part of myself. Will it go away at 60 or 70. I hope not
It's a part of me like being a mom, a wife and a writer
Yass, Jane! You are such a hottie, mind, body and spirit! It actually makes me so sad to think of you writing yourself off. Still, I think it's healthy to take some time, mourn the part of our life that has ended, but then get excited about what lies ahead. Unfortunately, some women can't get out of the mourning stage because they are bombarded with so much negative messaging. I know you have health issues, (so do I) which can also make us feel depressed. I wonder what our later years would be like if we knew it was normal and acceptable that we would look and feel different than when we were 25, 35, even 45? I'm glad you're here and showing off your mad yoga skills. The world needs us and our wise magic. XO 🥰❤️
Thanks so much @Amy Gabrielle you made my day. It’s so easy to mourn that part of ourselves, but there’s so much ahead. Today was a blah day for me and those encouraging words helped :)
Brava on reclaiming your sexuality in a way that YOU wanted to, Amy! I did a photoshoot of black and white "bodyscape" nudes many years ago, and it transformed the way I saw myself. I can't imagine how life-altering losing your husband would have been.
Beautifully written, thank you.
Thank you so much Sheila. I love hearing about other women finding a new connection with their bodies through the arts, especially photography. I find it very meaningful to take my own photos because it's a true representation of how I see myself. I did a professional boudoir photoshoot a couple of years ago and while the results were truly amazing, I liked my own photos better. I am not a professional anything: model, location scout, makeup artist or photographer. I don't have professional equipment either, but I would like women to know they don't need all that stuff to feel beautiful. The simple act of self care in preparation for a shoot was enough for me to start appreciating my body in a new way. XO 🥰❤️
I won my photoshoot at a silent auction many years ago - it terrified me...so I knew I should do it. It's been 25 years, and I still look at my photos (they are framed and up on the wall - enjoy, random person) and am so proud of myself. I see the beauty now that I could not see at the time.
Rock on, Amy!
I’ve read this and re read this, this! Wow, like you’re describing emerging from the chrysalis of grief to find yourself a butterfly. So intimate, so life affirming.
I wish I could see beautiful Amy, but that seems prurient and juvenile. I’m a man would such viewings turn art to pornography. Ruin, for you, your choice to go public with your thoughts? Remember I am a man, and I love your work. Forgive me this one transgression.
The line between Art and voyeurism is wafer thin.
I shall see you in my minds eye, beautiful, powerful, destined, warrior queen, mama bear, creator of life, survivor, heroine, mother, wife, widow.
Thank you for all you do, keep on keeping on, you own this.
I appreciate your honesty Colin. I believe that art is supposed to make the viewer feel something. When the average time a person spends standing in front of a painting, a sculpture or a photograph in a museum is 3 seconds I am grateful when people linger over mine, regardless of their motivation.
I love how free and open you are about your body and sexuality! Not naughty by any means…self discover, self assurance so dearly needed in those early months and years. Reading you has totally helped my accept what I did… sans any photo sharing! I needed it but always guilt, wanted closeness but not commitment. You’ve become a stronger, better person…a voice for women like me who felt it wrong. Thank you as always for saying truths so loud and clear! 🤗🥰 can’t wait to read the final memoir! 🎉🙌
I adore you Joan, I really do 🥰❤️. You've helped me accept who I am, and the things that I did in early grief. Your comments and reflections have given me strength in my purpose to tell the truth, slay shame, and create a platform where other women feel seen and accepted for who they are too. Life is unpredictable, but we draw wisdom from one another. I am truly grateful for your friendship and unwavering support. XO 🥹😍
Honest, brave, resilient. If I was free to give you an Idaho compliment, which I am not free to do, I would say you are tougher than a two dollar steak, which is high praise, but I shouldn’t write that, so I won’t. 🫢
I would say thank you if you had been free to give me an Idaho compliment comparing me to steak. I only request it be cooked medium rare. 🥰
Okay, let’s just agree then that I did give you that compliment, a coveted and valuable one, cooked medium rare, and served with a fine baked Idaho russet potato. And I thank you for your willingness to understand the soul of a strange and distant culture without judgment.
I'm not one to turn down steak and potatoes. Thank you kindly. Anything for dessert? It's not a dealbreaker, but you'll earn extra points.
Not flan. I learned long ago, there is no difference between a good flan and a poor flan.
But in keeping with the Idahoesque theme, probably a freshly baked apple pie, Cosmic Crisps are preferred apples these days, hand cranked real vanilla ice cream, with ala mode if it’s in season, and coffee brewed in a #10 tin can over a fire, while keeping in mind that good coffee doesn’t require much water.
Sounds great! This is a high compliment 🥰
Love reading about the beginning of your journey into sensual photos of yourself (smart & resourceful ideas!)and the intersection of your grief and re-emerging sexuality.
Thank you Rosemary! The second edit of my manuscript has be diving deeper into my feelings from start to finish. I feel a little like I have emotional whiplash, but I'm happy to find a deeper meaning about everything I went through after Steven died. I'm so glad you are here for the journey! XO 🥰❤️🥰❤️
This is wonderful, Amy. I love how you’ve integrated the experience of recent widowhood with the urge to make sense of your new life by making choices that were honest and meaningful for you, that served your growth as a person. That’s what we do. I’m so grateful for you. Hugs. 🙏🫶🥰💕❤️
Mary! I cannot fully express how much your comments mean to me. This one is especially appreciated as began to doubt I was successful in getting my meaning across. You always understand what I'm trying to express, even when I may not be straightforward about it. I love you, and I am grateful for you too! XO 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️
At my all women's college, we joked that one simply must take an art history class - otherwise, how would one know which painting to select to hang above the couch?? LOL. Who knew there was more to learn??
Art history was where it was at 🤣 XO 🥰
Great! Love seeing the beginning of your journey and what was in your mind and heart at the time. ❤️
Thank you so much Bonnie. This post didn't get a lot of love, which made me think I wasn't expressing myself clearly. Your comments always mean so much to me. XO 🥰❤️
I wouldn't take it personally - lots of election fallout still happening. You're doing great, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. ❤️
Thank you Bonnie 🥹😍.