Dear Famous Female Author,
Upon first glance, it may not seem like we have a lot in common, but, as Amy’s nipples, we know your pain. As hard working shame slayers, we showed up late to Instagram and said, “Hello! We’ve heard great things about this place! We’re so happy to finally be here!”
We didn’t expect anyone to roll out the red carpet, but we were unprepared for the immediate backlash. Suddenly, everyone had feelings about us taking up room and calling attention to ourselves. Honestly, that would have been fine, but then they felt the need to express every one of them in our comments.
We were just feeling good, doing our thing and then BAM, we were censored! Okay, maybe that’s not the exact same thing that happened to you, but it made us feel very unwelcome and ashamed. We wondered, “What did we do wrong?”
That’s when we said, “Fuck this shit. We’re going to keep showing up and pushing the envelope. We are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings!” Okay, again, not the same as your reaction. I think you said something like, “Fuck this shit. This doesn’t feel good to me, I’m leaving.” Both valid responses, and we did find common ground with, “Fuck this shit.”
Deep down, we know none of this is about us. Ideally, it would be better if people got curious about their feelings before taking to their keyboards. We wish people would ask themselves, “Why am I having a negative reaction to Amy’s nipples when they aren’t targeting me specifically?”
You may be shocked to learn, Famous Female Author, that we are not perfect. I know, I know, we look perfect, but we’ve made mistakes. We’ve been reactionary when we felt attacked. We don’t have a reptilian brain, we’re just two humble nipples, but if we did have our own amygdala, it would be sending danger signals.
We’ve learned that there’s a difference between the asshole Tech Bros who want to demonize and criminalize us because inside they are still awkward teenage boys who couldn’t get laid and the women who don’t realize their feelings are caused by internalized patriarchy and not us, Amy’s nipples.
It’s sad that there are so few, if any, spaces for repair on the Internet. In the real world, we sometimes lose our shit, but then we can apologize for being reactionary. We can take ownership for our own feelings and actions. The repair is not only a chance to say, “We’re sorry,” but to come out the other side aligned in our fight against patriarchy.
We all lose, women and nipples alike, when we turn against each other. Let’s remember that the Christian right and MAGA want to silence ALL. OF. US. Today, female nipples are banned from social media, tomorrow the entire female population. If that happens, we are truly fucked.
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