Amy, this is the fucking best. When I was on Hinge I was often completely baffled by men’s dating profiles. I’m with you on the politics. Apolitical, conservative, moderate—hard pass. My values are so intricately intertwined with human rights and I’m not willing to welcome any man to my bed who isn’t on the same page 😁
Thank you so much K 🥰. I was having a rough morning (it’s only 7 am EST) and your comment made me feel much better. I hope you have a wonderful day. XO 😊❤️
Oh Anne, I'm so sorry you've been having a rough day. I'm glad I could give you a small reprieve. If there's something or someone else you want me to roast, just say the word.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one giving constructive, albeit unsolicited, criticism. Even if a man's grandmother invented Skittles, or Lifesavers, or chocolate, what does that tell me about him as a human being? It's a jungle out there. I'm glad we have each other to lean on 🥰
Oh my gosh, Amy, you make me laugh so hard! This is the best- keep fighting that good fight, lady. Can we also eliminate all photos of men holding up dead fish? PLEASE?
I second the motion to ban dead fish photos! I'm so glad I made you laugh Kendall. Sometimes it's as cathartic as crying. I promise to keep fighting that good fight, with plenty of breaks to catch my breath. 🥰❤️
Anyone who helps other people to be their better selves is doing the Lord/lord's work, although I have never believed in any God, having been brought up unbaptised and atheist (which is VERY unusual in my generation). I have often wondered what I would do if I wanted to find a man – and I definitely would want to (even my 84 year old husband says I should be lining someone up now for when he is no longer here, although that is a step too far). I would probably be on those apps swiping the wrong way out of incompetence. I had a friend aged 62-63 (a long time ago) who said she was told by a male friend that the secret was for her to say she was 49. She did and immediately met a guy aged 50 or so and they have been together ever since. You sound too nice and interesting to be alone for long, so I am sure you will meet someone well worth your qualities one of these days. Lots of luck.
I love your stories Ann! Enjoy your husband while he's here, although I know it's tempting to be prepared "just in case." I'm mostly joking, but believe me, I thought about that too at some point.
I'm taking a break from dating apps for a bit. I should be getting my manuscript back at the end of the month after a developmental edit (I hired a freelancer to go through it for me) so I'll be working on my book for the next few months. I have a feeling there will be many areas which need improvement.
When one is my age, one does think (and, in our case, talk) about death. As you know better than most, it is the sort-of joker in the pack, which can pop up when least expected. Except that now, it is sort-of expected. It's leaning over our shoulders, but who knows, we could have a long time or not. We both want the other to find someone new in the event of our death and have made that very clear, but the idea of lining someone up when he doesn't have any fatal disease was an idea he put forward last week somewhat to my surprise. Incidentally, you will enjoy my post tomorrow about sex and old age (not about me, but about my father).
My father-in-law died in June 2020 (my husband's father). He was 86, and his wife, my husband's step-mother, was 76. Through our local JCC, she found a widow's group in our area that met online because it was still Covid.
Once things opened up, they met in person and do all kinds of activities together: theater, museums, even traveling to Spain for two weeks. She calls them her "besties". I wish I could find a group like she did and do things with other widows in person. It's not as common for women to be widowed in their 50s, and even less so that women in their 50's have school young children. My son was 9 when his dad died.
So, my mother-in-law was interested last year in dating, but didn't have any luck on Match.com. I think it's better to meet someone through friends, or participating in a class together, rather than an app. I'm going to try and motivate myself to take a class in person or just go out more so I come in contact with other people. I say I will try, but with the fall and winter coming up I'm likely to stay home even more.
I'm glad you told me about your post tomorrow. I can't wait to read it!
Just thinking about this, a number of people of my acquaintance found new love via old friends, that is they ran into an old friend of the opposite sex and got along and nature took its course. Does Friends Reunited still exist?
I just entered the dating app situation and I ❤️your words so much!! A lot of laughs. Thank you!! Took me 10 years of widowdom to give in and try it but damn it sucks
Hi Seana, what made you decide to try dating apps after 10 years? I’m curious because you’re right, they do suck, although I have a friend who met her husband on Tinder. That just seems like the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes you just need to laugh at some of the ridiculous stuff people feel is relevant and appropriate to post on a dating site. All that said, I still have hope that there’s another love out there for me. XO 🥰
I guess I decided to try for 2 reasons- my kids are mostly grown so I can focus on my needs more and I’ve found that meeting people in the wild hasn’t been as successful as I’d hoped. My husband and I met in college where everyone is your age and enjoyed hanging out- life is different when you’re 50😊
That makes perfect sense. If nothing else, I felt like setting up coffee dates at least got me out of my apartment. I turned 57 in July and I have to say that men in their 50s+ (in general) do not look as good as women. I know it isn't all about looks, but they don't seem as interested in personal growth. Still, I met my husband on J-Date.com when we were 40 (pre-smart phone apps and swiping technology). First marriage for both of us and it was a good one.
This was good, Amy. You have, um, a nice way with words. And not mince them either 😜. Oh, and I checked out the words to Supernova. Phew 😮. Good luck on your “mission” 🙂
I like moms And teachers and nurses. They tend to have empathy and patience.
I've been in dating apps off and on over the decades, and dated and was in various relationships over the years, including husband and father. Is dating done now?
I'm 78, M looking for F, not really interested in sex, but I am caring, a listener, happy living on my own, like hugs, left of moderate, smart (I'm told) with many interests, a bit of a political junkie, believer in science. And I'm guessing getting picky ;-) Not sure what dating platform fite me now.
I thank the lord, that I do not have to use any dating site and also pray I never will. I often feel from the feedback that appears on the interweb that they are little more than a cattle market. Seeing the list of words that shouldn’t be used makes me shudder, what the actual F is the world coming to? Men get a grip, what would your mothers say if they knew what you had written? The world’s going to hell in a handcart! Thank the almighty we have you as the gatekeeper Amy, at least some of the dross is being swept up. Well done you! I hope you do not toil in vain.
Thank you Colin 🥰. It's hard work, but someone has to push us towards the next evolutionary leap forward. I'm just doing my small part to save humanity from itself 🤣
Hi Lise! I’m so happy I made you laugh, that really is the highest compliment you could give me. Yes, the lord’s work is difficult, but at least there’s usually a thank you along the way 🥰. Motherhood, not so much. 🙃
Thank you dearest Mesa! The lord’s work is exhausting. I may need to take a nap soon. Yeah, the list. One guy wrote that he once stopped a woman from being raped and I just thought, nope, not even in that context should you use that word on a dating app. Oy!.
Thank you for doing the lord’s work, Amy! I’ve never been on a dating app, but it sounds like someone definitely needs to take out the trash. Two lies and a truth? How about fractions? Half a truth is better than none? Oof.
The lord’s work is never done.🙏
Your book is with an editor? That’s so exciting! Please keep us posted!🎉🎊💕
Hi Mary! How are you doing? I feel like we haven’t connected in ages, but my perception to time is a bit off.
I think the lord has a three day weekend too, so I’m happy to do my part. 🤣. What do they say about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? Well, I’m not usually one to give up.
I hired a developmental editor to give me notes on my manuscript. I know it needs work, but I’ve lost perspective. This will give me some actionable steps to take to make it better. I think I will self publish it. I’m pretty good at marketing myself 🥰.
What are you working on now? I see a book in your future. 😍
Amy, I’ve been MIA for days now. I have a lot of things to catch up on, because of the holiday weekend and recovering from a poor weather-related choice. You’re not from Minnesota, so you don’t have to wrestle with the questions that come up when you’re deciding whether or not to go to the State Fair. (Millions of people do. There was an article in the Times yesterday about Governor Walz’ visit last week. He would have attended each day for the entire 12 days but apparently he’s been busy elsewhere.) If you do go, then there’s another decision tree entirely. So now you have a sneak peek at the post I’m working on!
I’ve heard that a developmental editor can really be a godsend. It’s helpful to have someone who can help you get things sorted out. I know that when I’ve worked on large project, I honestly can’t see myself coming or going.
I am working on putting together something for publication. I want to think it through carefully before querying agents. But I’m serious about this.
Dead fish. Yikes. Of course, if the guy was from Minnesota, and it was a decent-sized walleye . . . Just kidding!🥰🤣📏
I mostly just stay in my apartment so a visit to the Minnesota State Fair seems unlikely. I can’t wait to read about it from a safe distance though 😊. I’m happy to hear you are working on something for publication. I look forward to reading everything you write ✍️🥰
When I was on the apps (and I was on almost all of them, usually a few at once-I took my dating seriously, in my own way, ha), I used to think I could make a pretty good living giving advice to men re: their profiles and how they go about trying to pick us up. When oh when is your memoir coming out? MUST read.
I don't think the men on most dating apps could afford your sage advice Rosemary. Even if they could, they assume that we don't read their profiles like they don't read ours. I do hear the excuse that men don't have as many photos of themselves, but I think I've figured out how to take some pretty good selfies, even in my bathroom. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him up his game. As for my memoir, it's with a editor now, so I should know at the end of the month how much work I have to do to get it ready for publication.
Amy, this is the fucking best. When I was on Hinge I was often completely baffled by men’s dating profiles. I’m with you on the politics. Apolitical, conservative, moderate—hard pass. My values are so intricately intertwined with human rights and I’m not willing to welcome any man to my bed who isn’t on the same page 😁
As a married man, I appreciate and applaud your doing the lord's work (lowercase L specially noted).
At 75, I seriously doubt that I will ever be in that "pool" of "unhinged men" again but the beautiful candor of your words will ring clear.
Thank you Larry. Yes, unhinged is an apt word for both the pool of men on the dating apps and the women who have been on them for too long 🤣.
LOL AMY!!!
You ARE really doing work of ANGELS out here.
"where's Waldo" KILLED ME 🤣
When I look a potentials for my sister w her- I LOATHE those group pics!
Thank you for this hilarious overview.
We love you!!!
Thank you so much K 🥰. I was having a rough morning (it’s only 7 am EST) and your comment made me feel much better. I hope you have a wonderful day. XO 😊❤️
What's wrong with "volcano"? Or is this some sex thing I have been here to for oblivious?
That was mostly for comic relief, but I'm sure it's been misused to describe some man's horizontal mambo technique 🤣
BAH ha ha ha ha ha ha. I've been crying all day. Thanks for the giggle.
This is the question I was looking for
Do you know Liz Phair's song Supernova? It's in the lyrics. 🤣
I do! I love Liz Phair. And I know exactly the line you’re talking about. Love it.
No, seriously.
Oh Anne, I'm so sorry you've been having a rough day. I'm glad I could give you a small reprieve. If there's something or someone else you want me to roast, just say the word.
You're doing more than the Lord 😂😂😂 I love sending men unsolicited feedback on Hinge because they piss me off so much!
I thought I was the only one 😂 this made me feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER ❤️
I'm so glad I'm not the only one giving constructive, albeit unsolicited, criticism. Even if a man's grandmother invented Skittles, or Lifesavers, or chocolate, what does that tell me about him as a human being? It's a jungle out there. I'm glad we have each other to lean on 🥰
Oh my gosh, Amy, you make me laugh so hard! This is the best- keep fighting that good fight, lady. Can we also eliminate all photos of men holding up dead fish? PLEASE?
I second the motion to ban dead fish photos! I'm so glad I made you laugh Kendall. Sometimes it's as cathartic as crying. I promise to keep fighting that good fight, with plenty of breaks to catch my breath. 🥰❤️
Anyone who helps other people to be their better selves is doing the Lord/lord's work, although I have never believed in any God, having been brought up unbaptised and atheist (which is VERY unusual in my generation). I have often wondered what I would do if I wanted to find a man – and I definitely would want to (even my 84 year old husband says I should be lining someone up now for when he is no longer here, although that is a step too far). I would probably be on those apps swiping the wrong way out of incompetence. I had a friend aged 62-63 (a long time ago) who said she was told by a male friend that the secret was for her to say she was 49. She did and immediately met a guy aged 50 or so and they have been together ever since. You sound too nice and interesting to be alone for long, so I am sure you will meet someone well worth your qualities one of these days. Lots of luck.
I love your stories Ann! Enjoy your husband while he's here, although I know it's tempting to be prepared "just in case." I'm mostly joking, but believe me, I thought about that too at some point.
I'm taking a break from dating apps for a bit. I should be getting my manuscript back at the end of the month after a developmental edit (I hired a freelancer to go through it for me) so I'll be working on my book for the next few months. I have a feeling there will be many areas which need improvement.
When one is my age, one does think (and, in our case, talk) about death. As you know better than most, it is the sort-of joker in the pack, which can pop up when least expected. Except that now, it is sort-of expected. It's leaning over our shoulders, but who knows, we could have a long time or not. We both want the other to find someone new in the event of our death and have made that very clear, but the idea of lining someone up when he doesn't have any fatal disease was an idea he put forward last week somewhat to my surprise. Incidentally, you will enjoy my post tomorrow about sex and old age (not about me, but about my father).
My father-in-law died in June 2020 (my husband's father). He was 86, and his wife, my husband's step-mother, was 76. Through our local JCC, she found a widow's group in our area that met online because it was still Covid.
Once things opened up, they met in person and do all kinds of activities together: theater, museums, even traveling to Spain for two weeks. She calls them her "besties". I wish I could find a group like she did and do things with other widows in person. It's not as common for women to be widowed in their 50s, and even less so that women in their 50's have school young children. My son was 9 when his dad died.
So, my mother-in-law was interested last year in dating, but didn't have any luck on Match.com. I think it's better to meet someone through friends, or participating in a class together, rather than an app. I'm going to try and motivate myself to take a class in person or just go out more so I come in contact with other people. I say I will try, but with the fall and winter coming up I'm likely to stay home even more.
I'm glad you told me about your post tomorrow. I can't wait to read it!
Just thinking about this, a number of people of my acquaintance found new love via old friends, that is they ran into an old friend of the opposite sex and got along and nature took its course. Does Friends Reunited still exist?
It shut down in 2016, although I'd never heard of it before. It was big in the UK but not in the US. Sounds like a great idea though.
https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-35343091
Why am l laughing 😝… great work ✅🙏🏼
Thank you Simone! You have to laugh or you'll cry 🤣🥰
I just entered the dating app situation and I ❤️your words so much!! A lot of laughs. Thank you!! Took me 10 years of widowdom to give in and try it but damn it sucks
Hi Seana, what made you decide to try dating apps after 10 years? I’m curious because you’re right, they do suck, although I have a friend who met her husband on Tinder. That just seems like the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes you just need to laugh at some of the ridiculous stuff people feel is relevant and appropriate to post on a dating site. All that said, I still have hope that there’s another love out there for me. XO 🥰
I guess I decided to try for 2 reasons- my kids are mostly grown so I can focus on my needs more and I’ve found that meeting people in the wild hasn’t been as successful as I’d hoped. My husband and I met in college where everyone is your age and enjoyed hanging out- life is different when you’re 50😊
That makes perfect sense. If nothing else, I felt like setting up coffee dates at least got me out of my apartment. I turned 57 in July and I have to say that men in their 50s+ (in general) do not look as good as women. I know it isn't all about looks, but they don't seem as interested in personal growth. Still, I met my husband on J-Date.com when we were 40 (pre-smart phone apps and swiping technology). First marriage for both of us and it was a good one.
This was good, Amy. You have, um, a nice way with words. And not mince them either 😜. Oh, and I checked out the words to Supernova. Phew 😮. Good luck on your “mission” 🙂
Thank you Ken! I call them as I see them, but I think I’m done giving away freebies. 🥰
I like moms And teachers and nurses. They tend to have empathy and patience.
I've been in dating apps off and on over the decades, and dated and was in various relationships over the years, including husband and father. Is dating done now?
I'm 78, M looking for F, not really interested in sex, but I am caring, a listener, happy living on my own, like hugs, left of moderate, smart (I'm told) with many interests, a bit of a political junkie, believer in science. And I'm guessing getting picky ;-) Not sure what dating platform fite me now.
Get together with friends and have each guest bring a friend of the opposite sex. It's a great way to meet new people, each one already vetted.
Good idea, thanks.
I thank the lord, that I do not have to use any dating site and also pray I never will. I often feel from the feedback that appears on the interweb that they are little more than a cattle market. Seeing the list of words that shouldn’t be used makes me shudder, what the actual F is the world coming to? Men get a grip, what would your mothers say if they knew what you had written? The world’s going to hell in a handcart! Thank the almighty we have you as the gatekeeper Amy, at least some of the dross is being swept up. Well done you! I hope you do not toil in vain.
Thank you Colin 🥰. It's hard work, but someone has to push us towards the next evolutionary leap forward. I'm just doing my small part to save humanity from itself 🤣
Ohhh thank you for this 🤣😂😂
Before I reached the end of your post, I was just thinking « she should be paid for that kind of shit work »!
The lord is tough sometimes!!!!
Hi Lise! I’m so happy I made you laugh, that really is the highest compliment you could give me. Yes, the lord’s work is difficult, but at least there’s usually a thank you along the way 🥰. Motherhood, not so much. 🙃
😁
I’m ☠️ You’re doing better than the lord’s work 🤣 I can’t stop laughing! But also- ew to the list of words that dudes have used!!
Keep up the great work and fighting the fight 🤣
Can’t wait for more ♥️♥️
Thank you dearest Mesa! The lord’s work is exhausting. I may need to take a nap soon. Yeah, the list. One guy wrote that he once stopped a woman from being raped and I just thought, nope, not even in that context should you use that word on a dating app. Oy!.
What a weird thing to brag about on your dating app profile… it does not scream “yes, I’m safe with this man”… 🤦🏻♀️
And this is why I do the work that I do, correcting one dating app profile at a time. 🤣
I tip my hat to you! 🤣😍
Thank you for doing the lord’s work, Amy! I’ve never been on a dating app, but it sounds like someone definitely needs to take out the trash. Two lies and a truth? How about fractions? Half a truth is better than none? Oof.
The lord’s work is never done.🙏
Your book is with an editor? That’s so exciting! Please keep us posted!🎉🎊💕
Hi Mary! How are you doing? I feel like we haven’t connected in ages, but my perception to time is a bit off.
I think the lord has a three day weekend too, so I’m happy to do my part. 🤣. What do they say about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? Well, I’m not usually one to give up.
I hired a developmental editor to give me notes on my manuscript. I know it needs work, but I’ve lost perspective. This will give me some actionable steps to take to make it better. I think I will self publish it. I’m pretty good at marketing myself 🥰.
What are you working on now? I see a book in your future. 😍
Amy, I’ve been MIA for days now. I have a lot of things to catch up on, because of the holiday weekend and recovering from a poor weather-related choice. You’re not from Minnesota, so you don’t have to wrestle with the questions that come up when you’re deciding whether or not to go to the State Fair. (Millions of people do. There was an article in the Times yesterday about Governor Walz’ visit last week. He would have attended each day for the entire 12 days but apparently he’s been busy elsewhere.) If you do go, then there’s another decision tree entirely. So now you have a sneak peek at the post I’m working on!
I’ve heard that a developmental editor can really be a godsend. It’s helpful to have someone who can help you get things sorted out. I know that when I’ve worked on large project, I honestly can’t see myself coming or going.
I am working on putting together something for publication. I want to think it through carefully before querying agents. But I’m serious about this.
Dead fish. Yikes. Of course, if the guy was from Minnesota, and it was a decent-sized walleye . . . Just kidding!🥰🤣📏
I mostly just stay in my apartment so a visit to the Minnesota State Fair seems unlikely. I can’t wait to read about it from a safe distance though 😊. I’m happy to hear you are working on something for publication. I look forward to reading everything you write ✍️🥰
When I was on the apps (and I was on almost all of them, usually a few at once-I took my dating seriously, in my own way, ha), I used to think I could make a pretty good living giving advice to men re: their profiles and how they go about trying to pick us up. When oh when is your memoir coming out? MUST read.
I don't think the men on most dating apps could afford your sage advice Rosemary. Even if they could, they assume that we don't read their profiles like they don't read ours. I do hear the excuse that men don't have as many photos of themselves, but I think I've figured out how to take some pretty good selfies, even in my bathroom. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him up his game. As for my memoir, it's with a editor now, so I should know at the end of the month how much work I have to do to get it ready for publication.