32 Comments

YES!! Can confirm - this is all accurate. Also, I chuckled just a little bit because dark sense of humor still remains. Xoxo

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I think that's the only way grievers stay sane - dark humor. I love it 🤣

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I love this, Amy!😍 Your dark humour matches mine! A way to stay sane in the mish mash of grief!

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It really is the only way forward 🥰. It’s like wearing the tragedy and comedy masks at the same time 🎭. Always the duality in grief.

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Well...you haven't lost your sense of humor. 😘

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Thank goodness I can still laugh, until I cry 🤣

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This is satire and true to life. When you lose somebody, the number of people who say, “I know just how you feel because I lost my beloved dog/cat[or occasionally grandparent]” is astounding. Or even the people who say they can identify with my sons because they lost their Dad when they were in their 50s (not 14, 13 & 8 like mine). Or that crazy woman online who told me I was blessed to be a widow and not have to put up with an ex like she does. Energetically, grief is grief, and grief is not a competition. yeah, ok, but wtf people? Are you missing that good home training that tells you to keep your mouth shut? I’m glad at 2.5 years out, I’m only hearing this 5-6x/yr or so now.

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Oh Celia, “blessed to be a widow” — seriously? People feel emboldened to write things to perfect strangers on the internet that they would never dream of saying face to face. I wrote this piece because on the surface, I agree that energetically, grief is grief, but when I hear, “I know how you feel because I just lost my 95 year-old grandmother,” I want to slap some sense into them.

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People do say crazy things. Mostly it’s just thoughtlessness. People are so thrown by death they don’t think before they speak. The common reaction when people heard about Dave was shock-fear-relief-guilt-pity (Interior monologue like: I can’t believe he died so young. What if it happened to me/my spouse? Thank God it hasn’t. Oh, how selfish I’m being. Poor thing, and all alone with those boys now.) All of those emotions, projected onto me. And then they open their mouth.

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Amy, without knowing what your warning entails about pet parents, I’m going to avoid reading this despite knowing it will be well thought out and even more well written.

I am an over the top animal lover. I found a frozen mouse in my garage the other day and it broke my heart. I’m silly, I know. But that’s who I am ♥️

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Aww, Renee. It's satire, but I get it, and I don't think being a loving and compassionate person is silly at all. The hierarchy is customizable (there's a provision to raise dogs and cats to #1 or #2) but in this case it's more important to protect your heart. Sending you a big hug and a peaceful holiday. 🥰❤️

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Right back at ya ♥️

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Hilarious

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Thanks Kim 🥰. Dark humor is my love language 🤣.

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Oh Amy! This is very funny. There are times when a friend complains about what a tough time they're having and I just want to scream, "Your children are still alive!"

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Hi Elizabeth! I’m always so happy when people “get” my dark humor. Sometimes we just have to laugh at the bizarre lengths people will go to to convince us they know how we feel because their parrot died.

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Favorite band splits up! 😅😂you really should trademark this, kiddo… no one else comes close to your cheeky, whimsical, far out, wtf humor! All the kinds of humor but here you’ve merged the rawest of worse with the light and funny so brilliantly! Love it! Love you! Thanks for always surprising us with “what’s she up to next?! 🤔😆

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Joan! You just made my night, thank you so much for this amazing compliment 😍. Wishing you a peaceful winter solstice ☃️🥰.

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I totally get this list. I have felt this list — and the disorientation of the fact that not everyone (yet) grasps this — this year. Appreciate the humor of this as well as the raw underside. Hope your December is peaceful.

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Thank you so much Amy! I'm so glad you appreciated my dark humor. I wish you a peaceful December and winter solstice ☃️🥰

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I'll trade you a nickel for an Aussie dollar ... you might be losing that count ... or perhaps I will be 🤣. love the TM note 🤣❤️

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I knew you’d get it 🥰❤️.

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Brilliant! I'm going to refer to this list often! I think I'd change 2 (child) to 1 for both solo parents (excellent point) and parents who are no longer in love with thier partners.... 😒❤️‍🩹

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I fully support making the list adjustable 🥰❤️

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Nothing to contest here! Except that I might add “My husband’s recipe for gluten-free chocolate chip banana bread” and “My ability to sing Subterranean Homesick Blues without getting tripped up at the place that starts with ‘Get sick get well and ends with Join the army if you fail’ but in the latter example I’m just being aspirational because I can’t sing to save my life.

How are things with you?

Love you lots, Amy.❤️🙏🫶

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XO 🥰❤️🥰❤️

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Sooo true!

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We know what's what 🥰❤️

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Nailed it.

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Thank you my darling 🥰❤️.

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Well done. I was a Breakup 2+

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Thank you! I'm glad it resonated. I hope you got a chuckle too 😁

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