August 2022
The concourse is jam packed with teenage girls in feather boas and heart shaped plastic glasses. We are moving in waves, ebbing and flowing, like high tide under a full moon.
I keep looking down at my phone to make sure I don’t get carried past my section. I pass concession stands selling concert “merch”, coffee and alcoholic beverages. There’s not much in the way of food except pretzels and hot dogs. I forgot Madison Square Garden is where the Nicks play their home games during basketball season.
I know I have good seats, so I shouldn’t have to walk much farther… and then I see it, just a glimpse of the stage and the huge marquee overhead. Finally, there's my section!
I disengage from the gaggle of girls and enter the stadium. I’m early, and there’s a stillness I hadn’t expected. I walk down a few steps and find my seat on the aisle.
Damn, this is awesome, and nothing is even happening yet. I turn my back to the stage and take a selfie. Click!
The stage is set up for an elaborate band, but the main attraction is solo singer Harry Styles. Jane and I listened to his recent album Harry’s House on repeat while out by the pool so I’m familiar with all his new songs.
The air conditioning is on full blast in anticipation of the massive dance party that's going down tonight. It’s the calm before the storm and I am ready for all of it.
Marco and Sam arrive looking super cute in matching white feather boas.
“Amy, these seats are amazing,” Marco says, as Sam nods and smiles beside him.
“We still have time before the show starts. Let’s grab a bite to eat,” I suggest.
Marco agrees, “Great, I’ll get the drinks.”
For the adults, Marco orders the tour’s signature cocktail, a themed watermelon vodka cooler named after Harry’s hit single “Watermelon Sugar” while Sam gets the mocktail version.
It’s not a strong drink, but I feel lighter, and pleasantly buzzed. Just for a moment I let myself imagine taking Sam to another concert, but this time just the two of us. How long has it been since I’ve pictured anything good happening in the future? Months? Years?
Back in our seats anticipation runs like an electric current through the stadium’s sold out crowd. Nineteen thousand fans are on their feet as Harry comes bounding onto the stage. Show time!
By the end of the night we are both energized and exhausted as we merge with the masses, weaving our way slowly out of the building and into the warm night air.
Marco, Sam and I walk for several blocks before we can get a taxi back to my apartment. It’s close to midnight, so they will stay over and take the long subway ride home tomorrow.
When we get back to my place Henry is still awake. I was hoping he’d fallen asleep, but I’m not surprised he waited up.
“How was the show?” Jane asks.
“Awesome,” Sam replies.
“Fantastic! I can’t wait to go next week!” Jane says, picking up her bag.
As I walk her to the door, Henry says, “Goodnight Jane!”
“Goodnight Henry. Goodnight all!”
I close and lock the big metal door behind her.
Turning to Sam I say, “Let’s get you set up on the daybed in my office.”
After she’s settled in I sit with Henry for a few minutes until he falls asleep. Meanwhile, Marco has made himself comfortable on the large couch in the living room.
I go to my room, change into my pajamas, and wash off my makeup in the bathroom before I tiptoe back down the long hallway, past the rooms where the kids are sleeping.
Marco is still awake, reading something on his phone, and I can’t help thinking he should be sleeping with me. Everything looks so perfect on the outside, if only we can settle into our roles as… what? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Partners?
As I walk over to the couch, all I can think is that I don’t want to be a widow anymore, yearning for an end to my pain and longing.
I take Marco’s hand and lead him to my bedroom where we undress and get into bed. I reach for him and he lazily responds to my touch. I can’t help myself – I want him.
“It’s okay babe, I’ll do all the work,” I whisper in his ear. “Just lay down and relax.”
I straddle him, guiding him into me as I lower myself down. I angle myself forward, rubbing the sensitive parts between my legs against his pelvic bone. As I move to my own rhythm, he follows my lead. I feel closer to him as we come together, and then fall asleep tangled in each other's arms.
Despite little sleep, we’re up before the kids. Marco goes back out to the couch, neither of us ready to answer questions from curious children wondering why he’s coming out of my room.
Our heads are clearer in the morning. I get cereal for the kids and coffee for the adults before Marco and Sam head home on the subway. There was no kiss goodbye, no plan set up to see each other again. Despite all we’ve been through, I still cannot take it for granted that there will be a next time.
“Are you and Marco more than just friends?” Henry asks.
Caught off guard, I stumble over my words before saying, “We are dating.”
“Does that mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend?”
I pause before continuing, “We are dating to see if that’s what we want one day, but for now, we are not.”
“Okay,” he says, turning back to watch a YouTube video on his computer. I am relieved my answers have satisfied his curiosity.
The forecast for the day is sunny and hot. It’s noon when Henry and I go back to the house in New Jersey, followed by Jane and her mum a few hours later. We still have 3 more days by the pool before it’s time to go home for good on September 1st.
After a whirlwind of sightseeing around the city, Jane’s mum is a little under the weather, but still manages to spoil us with her cooking. The unstructured time by the pool passes quickly, and before we know it, we’re saying goodbye to summer.
Jane and her mum leave after breakfast, while I stay with Henry to make sure we leave the house tidy, the way we found it. It’s early afternoon by the time we’re in an Uber on the way back into the city when I get a text from Jane:
Mum and I have tested positive for Covid
32. An Epic Night In Harry’s House