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Hello Metaversians,
Are there potential harms from online content? Of course, but the liberal government and media elite have pushed to censor all the fun stuff, like hating on people who don’t believe the same things I believe. Can you even believe such people exist? I guess drugs, terrorism and child exploitation aren’t necessarily “good” but compared to female nipples, vajayjays and ass cracks they aren’t really that bad.
I am tired of filtering out good old fashioned American hate speech. Now that we’ve gotten Donald Trump re-elected let me tell you specifically how the Metaverse is going back to its dystopian roots:
First, we're going to annex Canada and then exile all of the fact-checkers up there. Unlike X, we aren’t even going to put up the pretense of replacing them with anything. Blah, blah, blah, the media elite wouldn’t stop writing about how misinformation was a threat to democracy. Whatever, fuck ’em.
Second, it’s going to be a fucking free-for-all on topics like immigration and gender which can now be overrun with the vilest hate speech imaginable, and oh, what we’ve imagined! Inclusivity is for whiners and wimps, and it's gone too far. I want to make sure that bigots and racists can share their beliefs and experiences on our platforms like God and Zuck intended.
Third, we’re not going to enforce supposed violations unless they’re the high-severity kind, like showing any part of a woman’s body, which everyone knows is pure evil. Fuck filters, they are imperfect, make mistakes, and they take down a lot of really innovative ways people degrade each other online. By kicking them to the curb, we're going to dramatically increase the amount of negativity on our platforms, yay!
Fourth, we're bringing back political mudslinging. For a while, the community asked to see less politics because it was making people stressed (wah wah), but with Trump and MAGA on the horizon, it feels like we're in a new era now, whoot whoot!
Fifth, we're going to move our trust and safety (lol) and content moderation teams out of liberal, “let’s all get high together” California, and our US-based content review is going to be based in “carry a handgun in most public places without a license” Texas. As we work to promote unfettered animosity, I think those moves will help us create an atmosphere of both fear and unquestioning compliance.
Finally, we're going to work with President Trump to bully governments around the world. They're beheading white American babies and then trying to make us censor it! Europe has an ever-increasing number of stupid laws aimed at protecting the digital rights of their citizens making it difficult to build anything hateful there. Latin American countries have secret courts where they take down the videos of white American babies being beheaded.
China may have censored our apps from even working in the country, but we’ll have the last laugh because we banned TikTok. No more fun dance choreography for tweens and teens! The only way that we can push back on this global trend is with the support of the US government, which has been bought and paid for by me and my fellow billionaires.
By going after us nerds, and white American babies, it has emboldened other governments to go even further. But now we have the opportunity to be the cool kids, and I'm excited to take it. It'll take time to get this right, we’re a pretty soulless bunch of assholes.
There's also a lot of lady parts online, (and in real life), that we still need to work very hard to remove. But the bottom line is that after years of liberals having the upper hand, we are finally in charge of the world. It’s time to focus on Making America Great Again. Hot damn, I'm looking forward to this next chapter. Stay petty out there, and more to come soon!
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