Felicitations!
I’m glad you found me
I hope you’re not shy
Oh, the things you might see!
When my husband died
I dissociated from grief
Downloaded dating apps
My loneliness was brief
Bought my first iPhone.
And it soon became clear.
I needed a mirror
For great shots of my rear
Sexy costumes galore
I loved lingerie too
Elevated each look
With a platform shoe
The first time in my life
I felt good in my body
But without a tripod
My photos were shoddy
Easily looked on Amazon
Found a three legged stand
Added a remote and ring light
Was not what I’d planned
But it made perfect sense
Of that I was sure
When I posted to Instagram
I received followers galore
I made pretty pictures
Of my tits and my ass
But AI objected
Declaring, “That will not pass!”
Photoshopped my nipples
And my crack for good measure
It truly broke my heart
Erasing that which I’d treasure
I started an OnlyFans
Sharing ALL parts of me
Never felt shame
What will be will be
You’re probably asking,
“Amy, what did you show?”
If you had been there
Then you would know
Closeups of my asshole
Were some of my best
You say you can do better?
Surely you jest!
My photos are sizzling
I have quite the collection
On an external hard drive
To avoid prying eyes’ detection
The human body is beautiful
Regardless of shape, size or age
Spoon fed lies early and often
Fills women with anger and rage
I penned an open letter
To Mark Zukerberg with glee
As Moses to Pharaoh
“Set my nipples free!”
Oh, The Things My iPhone Has Seen!